Funny

Why Wyatt is awesome. Read here (at the bottom).

Wyatt, grooving at Off the Grid. He gets down gangsta style, for real.

Who's Cuter?

Me...
versus The C-Bear.On second thought, maybe you shouldn't answer that.

The Gross Kid

Remember when you were in school and there was always that gross kid. He had food in his teeth all the time. He'd go at his nose like he was trying to excavate for diamonds. His shirts always had chocolate streaks on it. And for some reason, he'd always call the teacher "Mom" on accident.

Well, turns out, that we have a gross kid. I guess the odds were that we'd have one, given that Joe and Dina only produce boys. But still, it's not fun when you realize that you really do, in fact, have one in the family.

Case in point:

Here's a picture of Wyatt, pointing at something near his bed. What the heck is that thing???

Let's get a close up. Oh wait a minute now...is that what I think it is??? Oh, no! It is, it is!!!

It's a booger!! A really big one! What, why, how, when, you ask?! Well, let's ask our main suspect.

I like how he left it near Wyatt's bed. Classic.

Circumstantial evidence, he retorts. But you'll notice his unwillingness to be captured on camera with the evidence.

City Dog, Snow Dog...Just Dog

Turns out you can take the city dog out of the city and well, she adapts (and yes, I did just talk about myself in the third person). Last week, we were on Spring Break and the whole family (including me, that's obvious, right?) packed the minivan and hauled our butts up to Tahoe. There was torrential downpour the previous week in San Francisco, which meant good snow in Tahoe. Check this out, no joke -- that's a lot of snow behind me, huh?

Dina and Joe thought that I'd get freaked out by the snow. After all, this was my first time in it. But turns out, I really am adaptable. There's a reason why beagles are still around and dinosaurs aren't. It's called "going with the flow, Darwinian style." Here's an action shot of me, although I'm so darn quick, I'm surprised they caught me on camera.

When we got to the house, there was so much snow that Joe had to go New Jersey on us, i.e., shovel 5 feet of snow so we could make it up the walkway and into the house. Joe hasn't shoveled snow like that since high school in Jersey, and his bitching and moaning about his right shoulder the rest of the week proved it.

Not surprisingly, the boys were adaptable, too. Wyatt did ski school for 3 days, working on his pizza (he's got french fries down cold, but that's not really a good thing when you don't have pizza down).

Landon made like he was a native. Imagine this picture in 18 years, except trade the chocolate milk for a big fat beer. Dina's worried and hopes that it really will be 18 years...

Crosby, well, the poor C-bear didn't really make it out that much. But he was still happy. As always. Perpetually happy, the poor sonofabitch.

Dina and Joe? Joe made it one day for an afternoon of slushy skiing. Dina stayed home with Landon and C-bear while they napped, and to her dismay, cleaned up an inordinate amount of poop, including mine (turns out that while playing in the snow is fun, crapping in the snow is not).

Taking the shuttle home after a rough day skiing and tubing. What a life.

Lando is 3!

Sure, he still craps in his pants. But we call Landon a big boy anyway. He certainly has the attitude of a three (times 10) year old. Although he's easily mistaken for an 18 month old, due to his small stature, he is all attitude and feistiness.

He likes to occasionally throw things at me, grab my tail, and lick me (yes, he licks me, isn't that ironic). He also has the mouth of an old sailor, except he says words with more syllables. Oh, and he's totally into dinosaurs.

Ergo, this cake:

Which Landon thoroughly enjoyed:

Wyatt also enjoyed it, just a lil' bit.

And, of course, the family photo. I can't help but notice that someone is missing. And to that, I say "I hate you all."

Bedtime Schmedtime

We have a problem. It's called Wyatt and Landon at bedtime. Apparently, they think that bedtime can occur outside the bed. Uh, FYI boys, it's called "bed"time for a reason. Sigh, it's like I'm reasoning with toddlers or something.

Many a nights, I'm walking up the stairs, only to find this:

Do you see me there on the bottom right? What you can't see is the disgust on my face.

When will these kids learn?

Frankly, I'm sick of having to tiptoe around their heads. If they don't get with the program soon, I'm going to stampede them.

Hello to 2011!

It's hard to believe, but I'm still part of the family photos

It's a new year and one of my resolutions is to write again. As you can see, I'm shitty about keeping to my resolutions. But I do want to try to be better and if I still have friends out there (both of the barking and non-barking varieties), then I will get off my furry butt and keep telling you my 'tails.'

The quick update for me? I am still a svelte 24 pounds. I think most of my loyal readers know that weight has been a struggle for me, but I'm doing it. On dry kibble, but I'm doing it. Dina often remarks how incredible she finds it that I lost 10 pounds (like a third of my body weight, really) and yet she can't (and folks, believe me, that ain't a third of her body weight!). But she forgets, I'm awesome. AWESOME.

The boys are, well, boys. Wyatt is 4 1/2 now, Landon is almost 3, and Crosby is 7 months. They are aging me faster than Joan Rivers face is falling apart. At this point, we tolerate each other. I don't know if I love them, and I don't know if they love me. You know, your normal relationship.

F'n geeks, I'm telling you. Wyatt almost peed in his pants when he found out about the IPad 2 yesterday.

I have to run off now, my awesome dogwalker Metrotails awaits. I do have one ask. If my peeps are still out there, can you drop me a comment, so that I know whether I should revisit this blog or just give my paws a rest? Woof woof for now!