Move it, Jennifer-friggin-Grey, cuz I'M THE BABY!!! So what is this that I hear about Joe getting one past the goalie and getting Dina pregnant??? Is that allowed? I thought she was spayed already! I'm finding this very socially irrresponsible of them...
But alas, it's true. Dina is good and fat and pregnant. Here's a pic of the little brat.
And here's how I feel about the whole thing: 
Quick digression. Here's a rhetorical question, if a pregnant woman asks you if she looks fat, what do you say back? Truth be told, she looks like a fatass. But fear and good sense would dictate that you don't answer that or you lie. But if you lie, you know she's going to catch you, because c'mon, we all know that she's getting fat (as she's supposed to be, since she's growing a little Qua To in her belly). And yet, she continues to ask you that same question, over and over again. It's like Chinese water torture. And really, sometimes, I wish I could just speak for Joe and say "You know the answer. But yes, for crying out loud, you are fat. In fact, you are more than fat. Your stomach is ballooning, your ass is getting wider and flatter, and your boobs are GIGANTIC. But please recall, you are also pregnant. And while Joe did this to you, which in time will be repaid (probably in the form of jewelry), is it really fair to ask the poor schmuck this question over and over again when you know the answer and whatever he says is really just going to get him a shitload of trouble????" Yeesh! Ok, end of digression.
So yes people! She's pregnant. And what I really want to know is, what does this mean for me? I'm the baby! We all know I'm the baby! I'm the spoiled little doggie that gets to sleep in the bed, that gets taken to Crissy Field every weekend, that gets treats whenever I actually just look at Joe and Dina. Let's face it folks, I thought this was a monarchy, not a democracy. I'm ruler of this kingdom right now, and I will not have some little burping/pooping/farting usurper taking my position. Or yanking my tail, for that matter.
Oh, how I long for the good ol' days.
So I'm pissed folks. And just a tad bit worried. But what I need is some strategery...Pee on the baby? Poop in the house more? Eat the baby's food? Make friends with the baby to infiltrate the new regime? Hmmm...maybe that's the ticket. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.......
3 comments:
Heard about the bambino that your humans are cooking up - Congratulations!! Admit it, aren't you just a little excited to see Dina's perfect slender self a little "imperfect" for a while? or is it just my own secret wish? ;-)
I'm sure everyone in and around the To and Wong families is excited. Looking forward to seeing pictures...uhm, after he's out of the womb!!!
Paula L.
TicTac, I once heard of a story about a child named "it". The parents made the child eat and sleep on the floor. I wouldn't put it past Dina and Joe to do the same with the new baby. I'm sure your place on the bed is safe. They love you very much.
TicTac -- your days as a pampered pet are are numbered, my friend. Time to start earning your keep.
You will always be loved, but your job now is to protect the FAMILY -- Dina, Joe, and baby-to-be. It's a responsibility all dogs before you have taken since the dawn of time.
Might I suggest you review old black and white episodes of "Lassie" to help you prep for your new duties.
(Example: "What's that TicTac? Dina's fallen down the well? Don't worry, with that stomach, she can't fall far!!).
Congrats to you both!
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