My Brush with Fame

If I were hobnobbing in L.A. like my cousins, then I'd expect to, of course, have famous friends -- or at least know Cesar Millan (Okay, I'm not a "red alert" case, but I do still shit on the carpet from time to time).

But I'm not in L.A., I'm in San Francisco, where our mayor is checking into rehab after having an affair with his campaign director's wife (who wasn't as hot as Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsom, but I bet this chick wasn't pigeon-toed like ol' Kimberly -- oh wait, I bet you didn't know that! You never see her feet on CourtTV and by the way, maybe that's why she was a catalog model as opposed to a runway model...).

Anywho, much to my surprise, one day Derek Arteta comes walking into my house! MY HOUSE! Oh c'mon people, Derek? Current star of The Apprentice(masterminded Aimee's attack of that dog-eyed kid Aaron from Harvard?), previous star of $10,000 Pyramid (and he won because unlike most game show contestants, he's SMART), laywer sidekick to Jimmy and Adam, AND the key to Dina passing Federal Courts in law school (hey, that class sounds hard because it IS hard!).

Well people, he's just as nice as can be. Fame has not gone to his head (yet). And he tasted good...real good...like honey.