The Difference

You better watch your back, runt. And where the hell are your pants?

I wish I could be one of those happy go lucky dogs. The kind that get all excited just when someone says their name. You know the kind -- the kind that's sort of like Lennie in Of Mice and Men, who can't really handle the truth about what happened to the bunnies. But damn, they're just happy to be there.

Well, I'm not just happy to be here. I deserve to be here as much as the next dog. In fact, as much as the next human. In fact, as much as the next baby, who, let's just say, we name Wyatt!! So what's up with this:

1. Why do my grandparents feel like it's okay to pet me with their feet? It's soooo not okay. I don't see them sticking their nasty toe jam toes (or should I say "To's") in young Wyatt's face.

2. When we have guests over, why do they feel like it's okay to flick me off the couch like I'm some piece of lint? I mean, god forbid the baby falls on the floor! But yet, they will actually shove my ass to get me off the couch. First of all, I was here first. Second of all, it's my home. Third of all, if you touch my ass again, I'm going to lay a silent one on you that's so deadly your nose hairs are going to be singed.

3. You know what I got for my first birthday? A couple of extra dog treats. I admit, they were big. But for real. And Wyatt's first birthday? They are in the middle of planning something, they don't know the scope, but it's something...that's being planned...which means foresight...at least far more foresight than getting me a couple extra dog treats at Safeway. I even heard the grandparents are going to fly in especially for Wyatt's birthday...and in the meantime, they can get a good foot rub off my back. Yay for me.

So if you wonder why I bark at you when you come to the door, or run away when you try to pet me, or seem awfully skittish the first time I meet you, then you know. I'm salty. Salty like a cowlick. Which then leads to the next obvious question...is this because of nature vs. nurture? You can thank Dina if it's nurture. Lennie -- oops, I mean Joe -- is just so damn happy to be here and still doesn't understand why Dina won't tell him what happened to the bunnies.