Puberty

I'm in Puppy Junior High now. That is, I'm in an intermediate puppy training class. There's probably about 10 of us, but I'm the only beagle. Now, I also attended Puppy Preschool, and I did just great there. Sit, Down, Come. No problemo mis amigos. But, and I don't know how this happened, where I was once truly top dog, suddenly I've lost my mojo. Junior high is filled with these overachievers who sit, then lay down, then stay (for like minutes on end!) and for only one treat! I'm just sure that everyday after getting walked, they go home and they train and train and train until it's time to go to bed. Don't they know there isn't an AP test at the end of the class?

Me? I tug at my leash, get distracted by the other dogs, whine when Dina and Joe are trying to confine me to one area, and you can forget about me staying in place. Treat or no treat, there are other dogs here! It's time to play! And as far as I'm concerned, when I'm at home, it's all about rest and relaxation, not training. It would be a travesty if I missed the next episode of Top Chef (what's up with that snotty sommelier Steven anyway???). Last night was a particularly memorable class, as I managed to drag a plastic chair almost 10 feet, by twisting my leash around it.

Should I feel badly about this? Some say this is a reflection on my parents, that my bad behavior was created and/or condoned by them. You know, like when you're watching a kid thrown a tantrum on the grocery store floor, and think "Oh my, she needs some stronger parenting!" Or maybe I'm the rebel trying to buck the system, show other pups that it doesn't have to be this way. You can live a fine life without doing these ridiculous tricks as long as you don't bite anyone (once is ok -- maybe it was a mistake; twice, you are being reconsidered as to whether you're a contributing family member; thrice, and you're outta there). Or maybe, just maybe, I'm a genius. And what's really going on here is that I'm bored and unchallenged at these classes. I mean, you don't have to finish school to be a success, right? Look at Bill Gates. He dropped out of Harvard. Or Matt Damon, same thing. So you see? I think I'm probably destined for that kind of greatness and no one is aware of it just yet. I'm going to be the richest dog in the world or some one-hit actor wonder (but that one-hit is going to be an Oscar winner and no, the Bourne series do not count as quality acting).